Friday, March 12, 2021

WIDDLE PEETY AND THE QANON CON

 

In the past year and currently I have had the utter displeasure of encountering a couple of QAnon Cultists. 

One was Jeff, not the racist, anti-semetic Jeff who was just a garden variety bigot. No. This Jeff was a self-made imbecile. He was 20-something and had devoted himself to Meth. Jeff hadn't a single tooth left in his face and not two brain cells to rub together. That latter characteristic may have been the reason that he'd gotten involved with Meth in the first place but the Meth had killed off any brain cells that might have helped him overcome his addiction.

One of the things about many addicts is that they never overcome the addiction qua addiction. They simply switch an addiction to drugs or alcohol for an addiction to religion or some other, more acceptable object of desire. Jeff had transferred his addiction to Meth to QAnon. Jeff's faith in the QAnon Con was absolute, as absolute as had been his addiction to Meth. He constantly had his phone tuned to some right-wing loonie channel. His earbuds carried directly to that malfunctioning brain messages of fiction that he never questioned. Worse yet, Jeff felt, with the zeal of the new convert, that everyone within earshot needed to hear the latest verse in the Gospel According to QAnon. When told to shut up and not annoy those who had not had his vision on his personal road to Damascus, Jeff would, in true Republiscum fashion, became irate that someone would impinge on his "Freedom of Speech". Explaining to Jeff that he was welcome to speak his lunatic nonsense somewhere else had no effect on his well-schooled indignation.

Jeff moved on to somewhere - I neither know nor care where - though I would not have been at all surprised to have found him smearing shit on the Capitol's walls on January 6th. Jeff could do something like that but might well have no idea why. In any case, Jeff now fades completely from my narrative although I hold him up as one very dangerous type of the QAnon Con Cultist.

Let us now turn our attention to Widdle Peety. Please be aware that the sarcasm is mine alone but Widdle Peety's actions are all actual, verifiable facts.

Widdle Peety is 50-ish if not 60 already but that's only the outward appearance of Widdle Peety because in his heart, in his soul, in every fiber of his being Widdle Peety is only 2½ years old. At some point in the past Widdle Peety fell out of a chair at the charitable institution where he lives (and I live too) and "hurt his back". I place that in quotes because Widdle Peety can pick up a 35 pound dog and carry him 10 or 20 yards if he wants to but he cannot pick up a paper towel that he dropped on the floor or an empty plastic bowl that he dropped. He especially cannot pick such things up if there's someone around whom he can con into cleaning up his mess. In one notable incident Widdle Peety clogged a toilet in the communal bathroom. There was no plunger handy, not that Widdle Peety would have cared to use it had one been close at hand, but, in this case, no plunger was present in the communal bathroom. So Widdle Peety, being so little and defenseless, rousted out of bed another dorm resident, a young man with serious mental health problems who is both quiet and pathologically helpful, and sent him to find a plunger and unclog the toilet. And, no, Widdle Peety did not offer to help.

In any case, thanks to that fall from a chair Widdle Peety's back has the Worstestest Owie® in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD! Nobody should ask Widdle Peety to do anything that might aggravate that Terwible, Terwible Owie® and you should know that aggravating that Terwible, Terwible Owie® can be anything at any time that Widdle Peety doesn't want to do. Why it's even so bad that Widdle Peety's Terwible, Terwible Owie® makes it impossible for him to lift those terwibly heavy wrappers for toilet paper rolls and put them in a nearby waste basket.

In the interests of full disclosure, you, dear reader, must know that Widdle Peety thinks that Bahstan Rob is the Meanestest Man in the Whole Wide World and He's Fat too®! Bahstan Rob is fat. Widdle Peety is, on the contrary, just "big boned". 

Being only 2½ years old, Widdle Peety has very few ways to defend himself against the mean, nasty, horwibleness of Bahstan Rob. Every time Widdle Peety thinks of a way to get back at Bahstan Rob, Horwible, Horwible Bahstan Rob® makes it so other people think that Widdle Peety, who is the Bestest, Smartest and Most Wonderful Widdle Peety in the Whole Wide World®, did a bad thing but it's only because Horwible, Horwible Bahstan Rob® reported Widdle Peety for doing it that other people think that Widdle Peety did a bad thing which he would never, ever do, except maybe the time Widdle Peety shit in the communal shower stall and left it there for Bahstan Rob to clean up. But that was only because of the horwible, horwible things, like breathing or not wanting to clean up poor Widdle Peety's shit, that Horwible, Horwible Bahstan Rob® did to poor Widdle Peety.

It should come as no surprise to you that Widdle Peety is a QAnonsense cultist. Widdle Peety believes that The Failed Orange Führer is the Mostest Greatest Man to ever, ever live, next, maybe, to Jesus, but only maybe, Widdle Peety believes that all Democrats are demons who traffic in minor children and drink the blood of babies, especially Hillary Clinton and Oprah. You should know that Widdle Peety has only been married once (once was enough says Widdle Peety) and is now divorced because no self-respecting woman would want to stay married to a 2½ year old whose shit she would have to clean out of the shower. Rejoice, dear reader in the fact that Widdle Peety has not passed his gene cesspool along to a new generation. Widdle Peety knows for an absolute fact that there is no disparity between the pay of men and women because that lie has been debunked by the very knowledgeable people who tell him over the Internet that they or the researchers whose credentials they never cite have debunked it. He also knows that it is a crime that the Deep State® keeps Hillary from being LOCK HER UPed for her many crimes. The late, great Rash Lamebrain told him so before ascending bodily into Heaven.

In short, the shit that Widdle Peety left in the shower stall was only an infinitesimal fraction of the overflowing shit that fills Widdle Peety thanks to his commitment to QAnonsense and neo-Nazi radio and Internet sites. Widdle Peety is a bundle of misogyny, bigotry, hate and ignorance. Widdle Peety attended college but found it unrewarding because professors were "not open" to the "different ideas" that Widdle Peety expressed to them.

These QAnonsense cultists are, like Jeff and Widdle Peety, people of no mind or closed mind. Like the ultra-right wing Evangelical CHRISTIANs the QAnonsense cultists will believe any bullshit that a self-appointed prophet or preacher shovels at them. The critical reason that the fools and fooled accept these noisome piles of utter nonsense is that they come from a person who has some claim to authority. People who cannot think for themselves or simply don't want to do so deliver their autonomy to someone they trust and they trust people they see on television or on their other screens. They trust the loud voice on the radio that appeals to their weaknesses and/or bigotry. If you doubt this I would suggest that you look again at the ascendency of The Failed Orange Führer.

A friend of mine has a framed calligraphic saying on her wall that reads, "Never try to teach a pig to sing. It only frustrates you and annoys the pig." Widdle Peety is, unquestionably, a pig. I have never heard him sing and hope that experience continues to elude me. I certainly will never offer him singing lessons.

We who are capable of rational, critical thought have been bombarded with many messages urging that we learn how to speak with QAnonsense cultists like Widdle Peety and Jeff. That impulse is inherent to our rational thought and a fallacy that we cherish because we believe that everyone else is also capable of rational, critical thought. It is absolutely and unequivocally a fallacy. The QAnonsense cultists, Evangelical CHRISTIANS, 3%ers, Proud Boys, Bugaloo Bois, White Supremacists, Oath Keepers, Anti-Maskers, Anti-Vaccers and their similarly mindless, irrational fools have, as an inherent tenet, rejected rational, critical thought. In fact, they have rejected thought itself. We need to stop the frustrating practice of trying to teach these pigs to sing and simply ostracize them from all access to the institutions of rational society. They must be banned from all aspects of communication other than person to person meetings. The public media that promote their lunatic conspiracies need to have their licenses to use the public airwaves revoked. Their lunatic views must be exposed and disqualify them from holding public office. Colleges and universities, indeed even lower level private educational institutions that do not teach rational, critical thought and the actual scientific method, should not be certified as being like those public and private institutions that do teach those disciplines.

I am not for censorship but rather for separating lunacy and stupidity from rational behavior. We need to distinguish between fact and belief. Widdle Peety and Jeff have the right to believe any idiocy, bigotry and hate they choose to believe. They may communicate their lunacy to anyone they please and be heard, person to person, to anyone patient or foolish enough to listen. I will defend their right to their beliefs and right to communicate those beliefs in person. However, that does not stop any hearer from turning his or her back on them. If they wish to use a public utility, like the public airwaves, to communicate those lunatic beliefs they have no special right to do so. 

Belief is something that needs no factual basis. Belief is not and never is fact. Belief is not understanding. No belief should ever trump fact. The distinct difference between fact and belief must be a preeminent distinction maintained for the benefit of public discourse. If you have and can present verifiable facts you have access to public means of communication. If you have beliefs not based on facts, regardless of how venerable the mythology you accept, you are welcome to present your beliefs in person to others who are willing to listen but not to use public resources to vent your un- and often counterfactual beliefs.

I just don't want the multitude of Widdle Peetys, Sean Hannitys, Tucker Carlsons, Marjorie Taylor Greenes, et al. out there to be able to continue shitting in the communal shower.