MY WISH FOR THE FAILED ORANGE FüHRER

 

    So a young man whose motives, as of this writing now weeks past the shooting, are unknown tried shooting The Failed Orange Führer on Saturday, July 13, 2024. Immediately J. D. Vance of Ohio blamed Joe Biden/Democrats/The Left for inciting the violence visited upon his Dear Leader.

    Aw! Come ON!

    First, a Liberal (Liberal, not Radical Leftist) with a gun is almost as believable as kitten with a gun, possible if you really, really stretch your very strange imagination, but all but incomprehensible.

    Second, the shooter has been identified as a loner who is registered as a Republiscum voter. In other words, someone not very likely to be motivated by Joe Biden/Democrats/The Left. Which candidate is it again who calls for jailing and executing rivals? Now where have I heard lots of rhetoric about "bloodbaths", "uprising", "take back our country"? I don't think it was from my Lefty friends, even the radicals.

    Third, I despise The Failed Orange Führer. I do not hate him. I hate everything he stands for but not that despicable scum himself. I have been saying since 2016 at least that the last exhibit in the The Failed Orange Führer Presidential Library should be the jail cell in which he spends the last years of his miserable, criminal life. I do not want The Failed Orange Führer to achieve the martyrdom that he so undeservedly affects. No. This despicable shit stain on American history deserves to live out his life shorn of his golden penthouses, estates, self-labeled buildings and his sleasily accumulated wealth. I want him eating prison food and, in my darker moments, serving as the bitch of a muscled, 275 pound undocumented Mexican lifer - I'm thinking Danny Trejo with young Arnold Schwartzenegger's body - who hasn't had any sexual relief in the last decade except from his own, preferred hand. That is my darkest wish for The Failed Orange Führer. Long life like that to him!

    I am also absolutely certain that the vast majority of my Lefty fellows would giggle a little and then tell me how awful a person I am and disown me emphatically. 

    Now, I ask you to contrast my dark demise for this despicable person with the litany of violent rhetoric spewed by The Failed Orange Führer from "Lock her up!" to "Grab them by the pussy." to "Some, I assume, are good people." to "Stop the steal!" to "poisoning the blood of our country" to "I am your retribution." to "in four years, you don't have to vote again. We'll have it fixed so good, you're not gonna have to vote." Let's take that in the context of his proven false arguments that the 2020 election was "stolen" from him when The Failed Orange Führer insisted that his phony election fraud claims "allow for the termination of all rules, regulations and articles, even those found in the Constitution." King Donald the 1st anyone? Our successful Führer? His Highness, Fearless Leader, President-for-Life Bone Spurs?

    No, I don't wish him dead...right away. I just want him imprisoned and abused, forgotten and obscure, dying alone in his prison cell noticed by a dwindled cult that often forgets to send a card on his birthday. Were I a religious person, I would find a church in which I could light a candle as I pray for his long, lonely demise.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RIGHT-WING RALPHING

The neo-Fascists among us have long railed against anything that does not comport with their world view. If if isn't echt Fascist than it must be (Heaven forefend!) Liberal which is, in their blinkered and jaundiced view, Progressive which is Socialist and also Communist! That is the formulation the neo-Fascists continually use to delude the rubes and, to borrow from the very apt H. L. Mencken, Boobouisie in the electorate. Of course, they don't like the Fascist or neo-Fascist label and have gone so far as to convince the ahistorical and semi-literate that Nazism and Communism are one in the same simply because Nazi is a contraction of Natzionatalische Socialistiche Partei. If the Nazi's abused the name of socialism to blinker German voters in the 1920s and 1930s then they must have been Leftists like the Liberals=Progressives=Socialists=Communists of today. Of course they must because CHRISTIAN preachers and their Volkische Beobachter, Fox News says so.

For 50 years we've had the neo-Fascists railing against "the Liberal Media" meaning all Non-Fascist Media. Dr. Goebbles'...I mean Rupert Murdock's...(so confusing trying to keep those two straight!) media outlets have recently had a guest on railing against Liberal and Feminist bias in the Disney animated film Ralph Breaks the Internet. The claim was that Disney's characters influence the good, seen-and-not-heard, obedient children of neo-Fascist parents to become disobedient "smart-mouthed children". We certainly can't have that! Why, children have never had such disobedient role models is the good, old Martin Dies/Joe McCarthy/Richard Nixon/Barry Goldwater days. It may also have something to do with the pernicious and insidious effect that the voice of smart-mouthed Liberal Democrat Feminist Sarah Silverman may have on children unaware that she is a Liberal, Feminist and Democrat or of what those terms mean.

In those good, old, kill-a-Commie-for-Christ days there never were smart-mouthed and disobedient children if you eliminate Nancy Drew, Nancy and Sluggo, the Hardy Boys, all the kids putting on shows with Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney, Pippi Longstocking, the cartoon kids in Peanuts, Dennis the Menace, all those later kids on the beaches with Annette Funicello, Frankie Avalon and Gidget, the Goonies and...well, the list goes on.

This active search for movies, books, radio and other media that offend the delicate sensibilities of the lunatic right-wing goes on from generation to generation. Why aren't these self-appointed guardians of public morality against all that ruffles their nether feathers called "special snowflakes"? They certainly are flaky enough! I vividly recall a similar right-wing hack railing against the 1964 movie, The Yellow Rolls Royce. That film's crime came in the third story regarding the eponymous automobile. You see its owner, played by Ingrid Bergman, found herself in Yugoslavia during the Nazi occupation and turns the car over to partisans fighting the Nazis. Anyone with any historical knowledge will know that the leader of the chief faction fighting for Balkan nationalism and against the Nazis was Josip Broz Tito a (shudder!) communist. Despite the leader of the movie partisans being played by Omar Sharif and there being no mention of any politics other than opposition to the Nazis the mere hint of support for someone who turned out to be an avowed communist was intolerable in the year that Barry Goldwater ran for president.

All of this is nonsense at best and insane even when given the benefit of the doubt. The neo-Fascist will never be satisfied unless the media of all sorts looks and sounds like a brown-shirted Nürnberg rally. If everyone isn't goosestepping on the march in straight-arm saluting conformity with them then those who have the temerity to question, to dissent and to be "smart-mouthed" will always be a danger to be expunged. I must, however, ask the question weren't Patrick Henry, John Hancock, Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, Alexander Hamilton and all the others, weren't they questioners, dissenters and "smart-mouthed" too? Isn't our Declaration of Independence one of the great "smart-mouthed" documents of all time? If the answer to those questions is, Yes, who should we conclude is opposed to the basic values of America?

P. S. Ralph Breaks the Internet's opening weekend had the highest gross of any movie currently in theatres. The best revenge on the neo-Fascists is beating them at capitalism.