Praise The Lord and Pass The Blame Onto People You Want Everyone To Hate And Fear

 

I have just spent almost 2 years in the not quite loving embrace of an Evangelical Sect of CHRISTIANS who have a thoroughly bizarre idea of the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth. They have left me with the jaundiced view that Evangelical CHRISTIANS would not recognize Jesus if they fell over him and that they only mouth the teachings of Jesus while actually worshiping the dark powers of evil because they can't get a sentence out without warning of "The End Times" and "Satan" and "Demons".

These sleazy CHRISTIAN snake oil salesmen and their imbecile followers are so in heat for the end of their god's creation that they are blind to the fact that wanting their god's creation to end is, itself, an insult to their god.

This weekend a tropical storm née hurricane has come up along the east coast of the United States. It has wrecked some serious destruction and death as far inland as Tennessee, an important link on The Bible Belt and the state that, nearly a century ago, prosecuted John T. Scopes for teaching Darwinian Evolution in a public school. And, no, the good people of Tennessee haven't moved far from that benighted act since.

The death and destruction wrought upon the good, god-fearing folks of Tennessee by a mindless and random wind and rain storm caused by equally mindless and random phenomena in the South Atlantic and Caribbean plus man-made climate change will, no doubt be blamed on Democrats, Antifa, Chinese Weather Control Machines, LGBTQ+ Rights Movements, Black Lives Matter, Abortions, Satan Worship by Democrats and Liberal Elites, and so on, etc., ad infinitum. Blah-Blah-Blah and also on unCHRISTIAN behavior by anyone that a bunch of neo-fascist demagogues masquerading as preachers and prophets happens to desire to personally gin up hate towards at this moment in time.

Hint: If some self-appointed preacher calls himself a prophet and claims that his god speaks to him directly, he's lying like a rug.

It's all sad and predictable because these demagogues who loudly proclaim their CHRISTIANITY aren't anything like the Jesus we find in the Gospels. 

Hint: If someone has to repeatedly report that they are a CHRISTIAN (not just a Christian), then they are certainly lying to you and to themselves as well

Let's be frank here. No one knows what any god wants for our world, for good or ill. We have more than enough nasty, vile people who are our neighbors and fellow congregants that satan, demons and all supernatural evils are simply unnecessary, regardless of what movie special effects show us. Some of the most worthless activities that human beings have ever engaged in are searching and finely sifting through their holy books of all types and faiths for "God's Plan". If some god had a plan don't you think he would have set it out so that even the dullest, most benighted dunces among us (e. g. self-appointed preachers and prophets) could figure it out? Actually, it is spelled out clearly and specifically in most holy books which is why I would refer you, dear reader, (I'm sure that there's, at most, one of you) the 25th Chapter of the Gospel According to Matthew in the Christian Bible where we are told that "I was naked and you clothed me, hungry and you fed me, thirsty and you gave me drink, sick or in prison and you visited me, And for as much as you have done this to one another, you have done it unto me, your god." That's simple and direct. It does not require numerology, secret codes in the text or calculations that always prove to be wrong. It simply says be good to one another and you'll do what your god wants you to do.

After my 2 year CHRISTIALONIAN Captivity, I have found myself in the cool, green, decent pastures of secularists who seem to have taken that Sermon on the Mount to heart. They are humanitarians who think that helping their fellows is a good thing in and of itself. They have done away with cartloads of strictures about what a big, imaginary friend in the sky (thank you for that George Carlin) imposes and decided that treating other human beings as we would wish to be treated ( e. g. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.) is a pretty good way of getting along with others in this world.

Americas Evangelical movement has been taken over by charlatans who claim that they know what a god who exists nowhere outside the mind of man wants for all mankind. In fact, they know only what they want (i. e. your cash) and ways to keep you in fear and ignorance in order to keep that cash flowing. They have given Christianity a bad name. These heirs to Simon Magus like Jim Bakker, Pat Robertson, Creflo Dollar, James Dobson, Ralph Reed and their ilk trade on the name of a good man and great teacher named Jesus of Nazareth to fleece the foolish and unwary of cash and property while selling the snake oil of sedition, fear and hatred. 

I have noted before that Dr. Samuel Johnson in his Dictionary of 1753 defined "Patriotism" as "the last refuge of a scoundrel." More than a century later, the American writer and satirist, Ambrose Bierce, in his "Devil's Dictionary" noted that "Patriotism" is the first refuge of scoundrels. So what is the last and best refuge of a scoundrel? Why religion, of course! It's largely tax free, protected by our Constitution and largely immune from prosecution. If you doubt me on the immunity from prosecution part, I suggest that you check out the decades of immunity that child abusing Roman Catholic priests secured and Mr. Bakker's short prison sentence for fraud.

If a scam artist cajoles an elderly widow into giving him her house, be that scam artist a stranger or the woman's child, the scammer can be prosecuted. If, on the other hand, the scam artist is a preacher who gets this same elderly widow to turn over her property and live in a shelter for the homeless or a cardboard box under an overpass, that is the protected work of the lord. The veneer of religiosity is all that separates the 2 craven criminals.

Now, having excoriated Evangelicals let me point out that none of the world's religions (excepting only, Scientology, Jehovah's Witnesses and Christian Science) are inherently bad or evil. It is fanaticism that turns a humane course for living one's life into a horror of people who fly jet liners into buildings, shoot abortion doctors, beat up and kill people of a different religion or sect, assault others of their faith who move their cars from one side of the street to the other on the sabbath or tears down the temple of one religion to build their own temple on that site. The fanatic picks and chooses the injunctions from his or her holy book and enforces that stricture on all and sundry around him or her. They brook no deviation from the narrow, blinkered view their personal prejudice confines them to. In doing so they explicitly violate those humane injunctions to show others the respect you wish to be shown. The fanatic is the worst apostate of his own religion.

Hint: If your big, imaginary friend in the sky (ibid. George Carlin) wrecks destruction for some actions carried out in far away places like New York, Los Angeles or San Francisco on his god-fearing, righteous flocks in the Bible Belt might it not be that your imaginary friend in the sky is actually angry at his god-fearing, righteous flocks? Maybe your just god ought to punish the people you say he's angry at rather than you who trust in the lord, don't you think? Except maybe he's angry at you for your behavior and smiles on those people you hate. Just saying.

You might want to think about that except that you wouldn't be Evangelical congregants if thinking were your forte. Just saying.

Female Frontal Lobal Mutilation: It's all part of god's maniacal plan.

A very dear friend sent me a link the other night to the most frightening thing I’ve seen since the movie Jesus Camp. The link was to the web site of – I am not making this up – Future Christian Homemakers™ - whose subtitle is “Teaching Girls To Become Successful Homemakers”. As one might expect the predominant colors of the site are white, green and a pink that any Mary Kay sales executive would be proud of. The mission statement of this organization dedicated to turning perfectly normal girls into Stepford Wives reads as follows:

“Future Christian Homemakers teaches girls how to become successful homemakers.

We believe that a successful homemaker is a Godly woman equipped with the Biblical knowledge and practical skills to manage her home well. The Bible is God's word instructing us how to live now, and for eternity. A woman will find true joy and success in her life when she lives according to God's word.

Along with Biblical knowledge, women need to know how to cook, sew, and keep their home. This instruction should begin at a young age in the home. Future Christian Homemakers seeks to provide materials to help girls learn these skills at home, or through groups in churches, homeschool co-ops, or other settings.

Future Christian Homemakers encourages women to teach the younger women to love their husbands, love their children, and be "keepers at home." Titus 2:3-5 We have much to learn from each other, whatever our age! FCH helps women share their knowledge and skills with the next generation and build strong Christian families.”

Of course, after first being appalled by the very concept it occurred to me that there’s a great deal of absurdity here. Can’t you see the Home Ec class:

Sister Faith: And we will now read from the Gospel according to Betty Crocker, Chapter 14, verses 4 through 10.

And, Lo. It was revealed unto me that first thou shalt preheat thy oven to the temperature of three hundred and seventy-five degrees, for this is the temperature that the Lord hath ordained, that thy oven may bake for thee as is meet and right. Thou shalt, as thy oven heateth, take thy sticks of butter unto three quarters of a pound, no more and no less, and soften it according to the laws of our fathers with thy spatula for it is better to cream thy butter than to leave it whole. And when thou hast thy butter creamed thou must add to it a measure of two cups of the sweetener men know as sugar. And the Lord hath ordained that thou must cream it now also until the mixture is, as the Lord saith, fluffy. And unto that fluffiness of butter and sugar thou shalt beat in 2 eggs (for the Lord careth not for the unborn chicken) and but half a cup’s measure of molasses. And when thou hast created a good and fitting batter, thou shalt lay aside thy beater and arm thyself with thy sifter and sift together with one another in good fellowship four cup measures of fine flour and two teaspoons’ measures each of baking soda and the powder of cinnamon, of cloves and of ginger. And into thy batter shalt thou mix these dry siftings little by little with strong and measured beating until thou hast a soft dough. And so saith the Lord, thou shalt break off a piece of dough and roll it between thy hands into a ball that is nigh unto one inch in diameter. Thou shouldst then flatten thy ball of dough placing each on thy cookie sheet which thou hast heretofore coated with grease as is pleasing unto the Lord leaving a finger’s span between each piece. And the Lord said place thou thy cookie sheet in thy preheated oven and leave it there for twelve to fifteen minutes of the clock for in this way has the Lord ordained that thou shouldst make thy ginger snap cookies.

Satire is always a great way to emphasize the absurdity of a con like “Christian Homemaking” but it begs the larger question of why are these self-professed CHRISTIANS so interested in promoting a traditional, subservient model of womanhood. Tradition is not, in itself, a bad thing but so why does this emphasis on tradition seem so perverse?

I am an atheist. I do not accept the idea of a big, imaginary friend in the sky especially since to do so, in my estimation, requires ignoring obvious empirical facts that no amount of faith or belief can overcome. But I must say that I admire many people who do not share my complete skepticism. I was brought up in the Christian tradition and found in the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth a prescription for how to behave in the world whose keynotes are love and forgiveness. Yet it seems to me that those CHRISTIANS who express their shallow religiosity through the fundamentalism espoused in the site at hand live by fear and hate, very un-Christian vales indeed.

We are not facing a tradition here. We are not facing a necessary building block of human society. We are facing fear of change and intolerance of diversity which is self-denying. The women who provide this web site and its teachings can’t possibly be the silent, compliant “keepers at home” that the writer posing as St. Paul demands they be.Who do they admire? Ann Coulter? Bay Buchanan? Lynn Cheney? Phyllis Schlafly? Are these the example of “keepers at home” that they present to the girls that they would subjugate?

What we have here is the fundamentalist CHRISTIAN intellectual equivalent of female circumcision. When one reads accounts of women who have been subjected to that barbarity in every instance the account says that the children are led to the place and time of their mutilation by their mothers, aunts and or grandmothers. These elder women dutifully subject their own children to a horror that they too must vividly remember. I don’t know what goes through their minds as they subject a girl to pain and a bizarre ceremony but we know that they are willingly complicit in the mutilation because they have been brainwashed into believing that their traditions and faith require it.

We understand that an unwarranted disfigurement of a child is the result of brainwashing and barbarity. I suggest that the intellectual brainwashing and barbarity of Future Christian Homemakers™ is no less disfiguring, no less an attempt to brainwash and no less a barbarity.